OFF & ON

支離破碎

2011-10-23T02:35:00.001+08:00

想起京都的陽台。
和那根煙的味道。
還有那個怎麼都不會那麼和我說話的人。
我要自欺欺人到甚麼時候？

行屍走肉

2011-07-05T11:08:00.002+08:00

感覺像是仰泳。

那麼不穩定的浮著，

沉下是必然的結果，遲早的事。

Ignorant

2011-03-13T01:05:00.003+08:00

I wish there is a dislike icon on facebook.

Yesterday when the Tsunami and earth quake strike Japan. I was so so so bz at work. While I leave my office, I am feeling so dizzy that I can see stars. But then I am rushing to a dinner appointment, it was a very important day for me and a special someone that we plan to celebrate it. I was stuck in the traffic for 1 and half hour to reach my destination.

But eventho I am working in such a small office but still. I knew about the earth quake. Even I was so bz that I din even realise I skip my lunch, I still knew about the earth quake. Even I do not have time to turn on my radio, to browse any news, to switch on my TV. I still know know about the earth quake.

I still went for my fancy dinner appointment. And it was a really wonderful dinner that I really wanna share on my new blog. Yet, I hesitate. Because, I think to show off your happiness while other ppl in such disaster is insensitive and not really showing any compassion.

Until then, still has no time to check out any news or anything. And I only get to see it until this evening. It's kinda late and I am kinda ashame of it. After saw those new, my heart drop, I feel so heavy in me. I have to say that after staying in that land, I have this very complicated feeling bout Japan, I feel related in a way.

I wish there is a dislike icon on facebook. Then I would dislike those picture people who show off their super-normal-nothing-impressive-showing-off shopping day picture. Why am I explaining myself? Because, even I am this busy. I still got to access to those information. And for those people who high profile-ly promoting their nothing more than average people weekend. What an insensitive, stupid and un-compassion person you are?

Assume you do not know the news... if you r a facebook-whoxx, you should be able to see all those video link people shared. And if you have time to photoshop your pic... I assume you could spend them to read a bit of news.

So I assume you do know the news, then, shame of you! I do not know how ignorant you can be to not feeling guilty at all. I did not ask you to stop living your normal life. But just try to show a bit of compassion here.

寂寞

2011-03-12T03:32:00.001+08:00

大大的屋子。

裡邊空空的。

關上房門，各自精彩。

New Blog

2011-03-10T22:22:00.003+08:00

Yiin and I started a new blog decicated to our new hobbies.
Check it out!

http://thingsweloveparty.blogspot.com

2010-12-17T22:11:00.002+08:00

我和工作就像一场恋爱。
辞了职就开始想念老板。
哭得像失恋的人一模样。

飛蛾

2010-11-30T15:30:00.002+08:00

一只飛蛾，飛來家裏。
沒有撲火，靜靜的在那兒。

最近想起了Roman，
大概是Roman也想我了。
化作飛蛾，
看我來了。

2010-11-01T16:00:00.000+08:00

"Oh Cinderella, would you just kiss me already?"

How can I resist this?

再見

2010-10-19T00:44:00.003+08:00

現在我才發現。
你原來一直活在你的黑暗之中。
是我怎麼看見那一點的甜蜜。
是我怎麼提著我那小小希望。
窺探其中的秘密。
自已為是的解讀你的情意。

回頭看你自己的記錄。
好久好久以前你就在那樣的混亂之中。
所有的一切都有著script。
我干擾了你的故事。
然後又豐富了你的悲劇。

你是瘋狂。
你多瘋狂。
那要多痛才能除掉的名。
請不要告訴我我不懂那背後的意義。

Lucky

2010-07-28T18:17:00.002+08:00

Love Jason Mraz.
Love his bitter sweet song.
Love is suppose to be bitter and sweet.

It fills my heart with this gentle and warm feeling.
Makes me feel like I am in love.
So gentle.
And an itchy heart.

2010-06-16T15:24:00.002+08:00

What does it mean when one who used to call you MOO-cyan now calling you MOOYONG?

Why am I feel like what I am feeling now?

Beautiful mistake

2010-06-13T00:05:00.001+08:00

旺旺（hanhan）千夫所指。
但畢盡是個美麗的意外。

29 onward

2010-06-06T23:03:00.001+08:00

So, I decided.
To live like a star.
Before it is too late.
To accept who I truely am.
Just be how I suppose to be.

Need no be humble.

I. Am. Coming.

怎麼辦吖

2010-03-30T13:04:00.001+08:00

減肥。
變遲鈍。
無所事事。
一貧如洗。
可能是停了太久。
對工作環境少了分緊張感。

最近看「躍龍門」，
喜歡張伯行的口氣。
怎麼辦吖？

Love

2010-03-28T23:36:00.003+08:00

Why some said he loves someone, but so little he willing to give.

But then some said he loves someone, and so much he can offer.

I asked.

Is it because they don't love, and they interpret the feeling wrongly.

Or just because love is different for different people.

But I think, love is suppose to be the same.

It is maybe it is just differet level of love.

And different kind of love.

Like for lover, for friend, for family.

But the way it is, we feel, suppose to be the same.

Because when we really love, we try our best to make it work.

Ultimately, we will do the same thing.

Which is compromise to make it work.

No?

Alot of people taught me alot of things, throughout my life.
And then now I think bout it, they all told me the same thing bout love.

So is it that because you don't love?
Or love not enough?
Or real love is too great to compare to?

So called Fashion

2010-03-28T23:15:00.002+08:00

"Fashion come and go
But style is forever."
~Yves st.laurent

We heard too much of this.

Then some think, so they can be a little more daring.

For me, clothing is like accessory of fashion.

It is essential but never the most important thing.

Very important supporting role but never the hero in the movie.

So some put on the so called up to date clothes.

With everything that is not suitable for them.

All you can see is the clothing but you cannot see who is wearing it.

It is like the clothes is wearing that person instead of the person is wearing the clothes.

I can't help but wonder, you want people to see you or your clothes?

Sometime, something, not trying is always better than trying too hard.

2010-03-28T22:53:00.002+08:00

為什么要委屈求全?
更何況求來個半全。
放掉不值的半缺。
誰知道換來的不會是另一個圓滿。

How silly I am

2010-03-24T20:18:00.003+08:00

Omg! How silly I can be.

I actually wrote the wrong figure of my previous job salary on all the job application I applied. I think... I only wrote 60% of my actually basic salary. How stupid is it? I mean, why I always have this impression that I make very little before?

Omg, now I don`t know how to correct all of them... omg!

2010-03-22T13:53:00.005+08:00

Give me a hint.
A sign.
Or something.
Show me, my life will go to the direct I want it to be.

Praise me.
Reward me.
Encourage me.
For how hard I have been trying.

尷尬

2010-03-22T13:41:00.003+08:00

Don't want to settle for less.

It is not about money or anything, materialistic.

It is about pride and recognization.

When there is nothing else that can used as a scale to evaluate my value.

Then, give me alot of money.

It is fair.

And it will worth it.

I am persistent, yet, vulnarable.

Stereotype Character of certain Job

2010-03-18T23:12:00.004+08:00

I try not to mension the job name in the title in case someone search HR and found this post and leave me alot alot of hate msg.

Ok, what I want to say is, among so many HR managers I met in my life (which is not too much since I did not work for too many companies and some company do not have a HR manager). They tend to have this stereotype attitute, which is... really hypocritical. They pretend they know you so well and yet, they dont even care to pretend that they are a little bit care bout you. It is like "yea, I want to listen to you, it is just part of the procedure. So, deal with my unwillingly conseal fakeness."

But the question is, how powerful a HR actually is in an organization? The truth is, HR manager do not get to choose who to hire, their job is to recruit the potential candidate and then filter them before sending them to meet the right personnel which actually know the job function and have the power to choose that person who is going to work under him or her. After choosing the right candidate HR job will be to discuss and offer the remuneration package and handling the documents etc. Isn't it?

And we are talking bout increment and bonus. Our boss will be the one who evaluate our performance! Or there will have a guideline on how to evaluate it. It is all in the system. And when to fire someone it is not HR decision either. It is either the boss or when a company decided to cut cost, they might choose candidate base on their job function or performance. But the power is still either on the directing board and the person who is evaluate the performance.

And when an organisation is big enough to have employee skill developement program. Their job is more concern on how to training and improve the esset (what is more important then man power in an organization) of the organisation right?

So, HR can have many different job functions but all they have to do is to deal with people. And a good HR suppose to be able to operate within the organisation budget but at the same time make the employee feels that they are appreacited by thier employer. So it is a good Win-Win situation, right?

But then... why of all those HR I met, they are so lansi? So attitute? What is so proud about a power that actually do not belong to you. Why? Does anyone really scare of their HR manager? Can anyone share their experience with me?

2010-03-07T19:56:00.002+08:00

I cut you out from my life.
To hope for little peace in mind.

舊愛的巴掌

2010-02-28T01:35:00.002+08:00

李宗盛唱：

-想得卻不可得你奈人生何

-舊愛的誓言像極了一個巴掌
每當你記起一句就挨一個耳光

-可惜戀愛不像寫歌再認真也成不了風格

(李宗盛-給自己的歌)

我想起在我的生命里來了又走的人。
為什么我沒有挨那個耳光。
沒有那樣的感慨。
那樣的懊悔。

或許我沒有過渴望。
或許我，根本，沒有相信愛。

一番寂しい瞬間

2010-01-20T01:58:00.001+08:00

なぜこんな多い人そばにいる時、
こんなに寂しい。
このような寂しさ、多分ずっと一生いる。

When is the loneliest moment is your life?I dunno what I wanna say, just, maybe this will me my life. This single moment will expand, expand, expand and become what I will have.

I think maybe I seriously need some help...

Final Fantasy XIII

2009-12-17T19:28:00.001+08:00

Oops! Haha.

Good Bye

2009-12-15T20:33:00.001+08:00

Sorry I do not get to love you.

一番欲しい物

2009-11-30T20:12:00.001+08:00

The look on your ex-boyfriend face.
Priceless.

生命的重量

2009-11-30T07:41:00.001+08:00

有沒有人可以告訴我：
是甚麼？要怎麼衡量？要怎麼把握？
在絕望時，怎麼抓住最後那一點氣力？

Sorry

2009-11-29T14:07:00.003+08:00

I think I forgot something really important...

While I am indulged in my own problems, someone secretly, quietly turn 26.

Happy Belated Birthday, My dear.

Miss you, Love you and wish we can move forward and grow stronger and wiser together.

Good Bye, Cheese

2009-11-28T23:13:00.002+08:00

最近我失去了很多。

那天和媽媽說電話，問起Cheese的事情，才說已經去世半年了。
大概在我回日本一個月后。
然后我一直都不知道。都不告訴我。
(Cheese past away about half year ago, and no one tell me bout it)

我原來不太喜歡Cheese。Cheese有點冷漠，比較喜歡男生。
樣子也不好看，長得太像梁詠琪所以很不喜歡。
總是一副做錯事的樣子。很矯情。
我一直也不在家。說感情有多好也不是那么好的。
就通常每次回國那一天會興奮的在我身邊打轉。
之后都懶得理我。打雷的天會跑來我身旁。
每天都睡在我的行李箱里。
做yoga時就睡在我的mat上。
看報紙時就坐在我看著的地方。
吃東西時就跑來嗚嗚嗚地討。
平時像大老板怎么叫都不來。
親她時總避開臉。
現在想到都生氣。

但是都一些回憶是比任何，恩，狗？更深刻的。
每次回家星期天的早晨，媽媽打開房門叫醒我的時候。
ChiChi就會興奮的在我周圍打轉。有時會用爪子抓我的臉。
或者用舌頭噒我的臉。
那時大概是HanHan還沒來。
那是的ChiChi應該很快樂。
ChiChi最喜歡星期天。
星期天我們都帶她出門吃早餐。
買她愛吃的，在家的人也比較多。
那時的ChiChi星期天一到，都會自己裝扮好，在門口等著出門。
如果沒帶她出去，回家時還會發脾氣。

現在想起，ChiChi很纖細。很敏感。
比起HanHan可能還要更有個性一點。
現在的我可以想起很多ChiChi的事情。
ChiChi討厭洗澡。
不喜歡照相。
不讓任何人剪她指甲。
喜歡睡在爸爸腿上。
最喜歡的人是媽媽。
但是更想討好爸爸。

那天想著想著上課中突然哭起來。
不知解釋了多少遍“My dog past away"。
怎么說呢。我要說什么呢？

Cheese，保重。

Abandoned

2009-11-28T22:52:00.002+08:00

In the dark.

I am scared.

Uneasy

2009-10-31T16:42:00.000+08:00

化了妝。
穿著不舒服的衣服。
拎者別人的生日蛋糕。
聽者不知名的憂傷歌曲。
一個人孤零零的在漆黑中等待。

感覺好慘。

巴士！你怎麼還不來？？！

Unwell

2009-10-10T23:31:00.001+08:00

Have been feeling sick all the time lately. Think might be due to the fact that i am too fat now or the really emotional Kyoto weather.

Feeling so vulnerable and lonely... I miss home.

2009-09-29T21:44:00.001+08:00

Self righteous is not right. Fool.
And yes you are a teacher yet you are real stupid.

One thing I learn about myself today,
Yes, my EQ certainly improved.

Sorry

2009-09-28T00:11:00.002+08:00

Prepare and organized so well for the ninja village trip. End up so sick and laying on the bed for whole day.

T-T as the organizer I felt so sorry to all my frens! Especially those who join us coz of me! Gomenne.

變態

2009-09-17T12:10:00.002+08:00

看者前面的女生穿著看似很柔軟的吊帶上衣，禁不住地好想好想扯掉她肩上的蝴蝶結。一定很柔軟。

好想好想啊。一定很舒服。

2009-08-31T10:26:00.002+08:00

神啊，請賜給我一分工作！

夏天快結束了嗎

2009-08-27T14:17:00.001+08:00

看著街上的人穿著夏天的衣服快無聊死了。所謂的流行都流行疲乏了。但是洗衣曬衣還是很快樂的事。因為不是白的就是粉的好漂亮！

無理

2009-07-23T07:21:00.001+08:00

なじみの香水の香り。
何か思い出せた。
最初はなぜここにいるの。
しかし、どうやって前の様に変えるの。

夏天

2009-07-15T09:28:00.002+08:00

太熱。
受不了。
把頭髮剪掉。

2009-07-02T11:55:00.002+08:00

My temper is out of control. And I am so tired.

2009-07-01T19:37:00.000+08:00

アーー、困ります。
どうしょう？

We will miss you.

2009-06-28T19:45:00.001+08:00

泥沼

2009-06-28T00:53:00.000+08:00

你擺脫不了我。
我也擺脫不了你。

1Q84

2009-06-23T07:33:00.001+08:00

某人買到的這一本已經是第六次印刷了。

International Marriage

2009-06-16T22:37:00.003+08:00

Today my teacher let us debate in Japanese in the class.

It was really fun because most of the people in the class participated enthusise-ly. The topic was International Marriage and I was on the opposed team. I never gave a deep thought of that before, today the more I elaborate my points, the more I realise that yes, I actually do not want to do it. It will be so difficult, I want to marry to someone I could tell a joke by just a few simple words. And we can do it so often then we never feel bored with each other.

I do agree that it can be really fun and inspiring to marry to foreigner because you got to learn thier culture. But the truth is, everyone is different, even we are coming from the same country don't mean we have the same value even culture. We will get to learn from everyone around us, not just foreigner... and I don't wanna to use my whole life to exchange the excitement of the "new thing". I think I basically dun want to use my whole life to exchange for anything...

Anyway. It's just something I learn bout myself today. But most of my classmate said that they think I will definately have a international marriage eventually because to them I am a Kokusai Nin (国際人 Internation man - mean ppl who used to live in many different country and very open minded.)

And there is this small joke to add. There is this 17 years old boy who wasn't enthused at all, my teacher wants him to at least make one point before the debate is over. He stands up and said: "Watashi wa kodomo desu. Shiranai" Means I am just a kid I dunno! 17 is really far away from being a kid but all the young boys in the class always call themself Children when come to questions they don't want to answer. Funny. I tot boys hate to be calling by Child.

不完美（是你家的事）

2009-06-12T11:50:00.002+08:00

不想原諒說謊的人。
不喜歡讓我自我懷疑的人。
你沒有辦法的事我幫你決定。

Thank you. :)

2009-06-11T18:11:00.005+08:00

Sorry I am late...

It's way overdue.

And it's not something pretty.

But it's as ugly as you...

So you are forgiven.

(You know exactly how I feel.)

(I hate Fatty!!! Squeeze!) Ah~~~~!

Uniqlo

2009-06-10T21:50:00.007+08:00

Guess how much they cost me?

It's only 3500 yen!

Because everyone in the shop I work in wear black at work. And I don't really have any black color humble Tee that I can wear to work. (I wore a new Juicy Couture Tee and Bettina Liano to wash dishes last week >.<)

So today, I walk in Uniqlo for 5 mins, look around grab 3 tops and then paid. I didn't even try. Uniqlo is like the H&M of Japan, but much less interesting. I don't really like Uniqlo design. It's really Japanese. They are more like Giornano. Ah, pardon me I don't really know how to spell.

But they have alot of cross over Tees project with fashion designer or just charactor designer. And the Tee just 1500 yen per piece. It's totally worth it, the quality is good and they actually very nice looking. You can buy a bunch of them to wear at home. And my beloved 藤原紀香(Fujiwara Norika) is the face of Uniqlo, and and and Agyness Deyn is the 2009 summer campaign gal...

Yes, Pink, it's Japanese, what to do?

Anyway, think I should shop there more often. Like getting yoga clothes for my hot yoga class etc...

2009-06-09T21:13:00.005+08:00

給某人買了只熊。

圓圓胖胖的臉上還懸著一顆眼淚。

就像總是在憂傷著的他。

Internet shopping

2009-06-09T18:19:00.003+08:00

之前生日之前試著在網上購物。看者雜誌裡的廣告副刊實在忍不住。覺得好便宜好便宜啊。

但是前後大概花了3、4個星期才把貨全寄到。後來想想，比較我平時一件一萬兩萬円的是便宜一點，但不是甚麼好的衣服一件也要5、6千円。如果換算馬幣就其實很不值得！感覺看起來就很便宜的衣服的感覺可以亂穿所以才買的，在中國同樣的錢大概可以買一堆。而且店裡都買得到，還不用付郵費不用等。

不過夏天的衣服五顏六色的眼花撩亂。像Tees一件件的找還蠻煩的。我買衣服不喜歡不停地試只喜歡擁有的感覺回家亂配。Internet常有特輯，喜歡的勾勾勾付錢就好。

而且日本的宅便實在很方便，到晚上9點都還是可以收到。今天我下午5點45分回到家，宅便下午2點來過。我在電話里鍵入幾個數字，7點前他們就再把衣服送來了。收到時很有收禮物的感覺。有點抽獎的感覺。哈哈很有趣。而且竟然還合身。日本基本上便宜的衣服沒有size的。我竟然穿得下日本人的free size有瘦的感覺。自我感覺良好。

只是穿著這些衣服的我像大学生日本妹。實在不喜歡。我大概買錯了。我現在有age indentity crisis.＜--我又來了。只是誰能抗拒夏天快樂的顏色呢？

Miss you alot

2009-06-08T20:26:00.005+08:00

Flipped through my pictures and saw this.

It's been a while, I do not have any frens who will hold me so close to her, so naturally. I realise I didn't take alot of pictures everytime we met. I think maybe it's because I have always showing her the real me, the me who is facing problems. Who actually is not that high spirited. And I don't have to pretend anything. Do not have to please her. Be who I really am. And we are so close that we do not have to take alot of picture to convince ourselve we are close, to prove to anyone about anything. So we actually do not have alot of picture taken together, part of the reason is we did not really do anything together anymore. >.<

It's been a really long while I never really stay next to her, sharing my life with her, and her life with me. But I still can constantly feel and knowing that she will always love me. Her love for me is somehow unconditional, I believe. For who I was and whoever I am turning into.

She has always supported me when I needed her. Now sometime when we met, I somehow feel abit awkward because we used to be so close before. And I am so ashame to tell her the problem that constantly troubled me, because I know that I can make a different. I can make things better. But I didn't. And she has always forgive me, for whatever mistake I made. She spoiled me. And I don't want to always be the selfish spoiled best friend. And she has always been compassionate and... just perfect.

I miss you alot. And I love you loads.

You said: "又相識多一年啦，覺得自己很幸運可以認識妳。"

The honor is with me. Other than having good parents, you are the luckiest thing ever happen to me.

Happy Best Friend Forever!

p/s we should take more pictures next time, because you are the one who really matters to me!

Bikini Promise

2009-06-07T01:22:00.003+08:00

Ok la... I know my birhtday this year is way over...

and actually... my body is not quite... ready... for bikini... yet...

But... I did not forgot it... you know la... now I have no one to take the picture for me...

eto.... I will definately take one if I am going to the beach wahahaha.

Anyway, write in English has become really challenging for me.

Nowaday it's really difficult for me to structure a sentense in English.

I have always mix it with Japanese grammar.

So I decided, when I speak English, I speak English only.

When I speak Chinese, Chinese only.

If I speak Japanese, Japanese only.

Try not to mix any diffirent language together.

Because it's SO NOT Classy!

FERA's foot

2009-06-03T12:29:00.001+08:00

It's scary.
I asked her to cut her nail shorter every single time I see her foot.

(フェラの足。
怖いなあ〜
みると必ずネルを切らせている。）

垃圾蟲

2009-06-01T19:17:00.002+08:00

我是我們家的壞蟲。
因為我凡走過必留下痕跡。

我的房更慘不忍睹。

窮人家的手

2009-06-01T17:13:00.002+08:00

把某人的手燙了個大疤。
大男人不停地投訴說我把他弄得丑死了。
我承認在廚房的我是很危險。
不是切了自己就燙了別人。
但是大男人的哭哭啼啼像什麼。我說。
他說，這裡一個疥那裡一個疤的像窮人的手。
想起以前和姊姊打架她把我弄得滿手傷痕，媽媽也氣急地說了同樣的話。
最近開始打工很好的店，但要不會說日語的我開始從洗碗開始。
朋友都叫我辭職。
姊姊說你在浪費時間。
某人生氣說把妳的手弄壞了妳就知道。你要知道自己是誰。
然後我就想，是啊。
我現在就在這裡。
一無所有。
我不是窮人家、是甚麼？

2009-05-27T00:45:00.001+08:00

我有下了決心絕對不說的話。
我想誠懇地生活。

Paranoid Japanese

2009-05-22T08:46:00.001+08:00

The first Swine Flu case was reported in Kyoto this morning. The first thing my school do is stop teaching for at least 1 week time.

I am like OMG. Why are they so panic... I want to come to school what am I gonna do for this week? And man I pay so much money and I have been doing nothing at school... I hate my stupid money sucking school.

Japanese is like so over reacted. We are not like primary school. My classmates get to go back to school everyday to pick up the homework, but my school called me and asked me to not to go to school because I take train to go to school everyday. I said I will take train everyday anyway then my school told me, just dun take train to come to school. If you want to come to school, cannot come with train. If you want to take train, dun come to school...

2009-05-18T12:18:00.001+08:00

最近在一種忙碌但精神上卻非常空洞的狀態之中。

Happy :)

2009-05-07T13:57:00.002+08:00

After spring holiday, I have constantly feeling happy. Everything is moving great now. I am having fun with everything I do. I constantly feeling being love and care by alot of dear friends and family.

I have got a small part time job offer by a really cool restaurant. Still considering if I want to work part time but the chief offer me personally while i had dinner there flattered me.

I made some lovely frens. And I wish our relationships would last. ;) I am feeling comfortable with my Japanese now. And I found something I really like and enjoy doing. I start to have a life over here.

Ah, I am so happy and contented now! :D

Beautiful words

2009-05-06T17:42:00.003+08:00

Many things I can resist.

But not the beautiful words.

And you knew it.

How many times you think you can erase the past?

Thing can't be reset just by formatting it.

Memory can't be format.

Feeling can't be format.

Love can't be format.

47

2009-04-25T12:17:00.000+08:00

There is something I must do.
Because I really want it now!

プロポーズ大作戦

2009-04-24T14:40:00.003+08:00

電視重播《求婚大作戰》。

看了，有一點想法。

在我婚禮上向我告白的人。

我大概會恨他。

如果可以爲什麽不早點告訴我。

爲什麽要等到失去時才有勇氣告訴我。

你想我要怎樣回應？

謝謝但是我有更愛的人我要嫁他了。

還是抛下我賦予承諾的人和你跑路？

如果是我也愛的人，爲什麽混亂我。

如果是我不愛的人，對不起很尷尬。

如果真愛我就讓我了解你的心意。

只是戯中做這件事的人是男主角。

所以可以自我中心好象很有型。

所以如果我嫁得出，

在我的婚禮上請不要自私地說你也愛我。

請衷心地祝福我。

春天...延續

2009-04-20T07:46:00.000+08:00

櫻花謝了。
樹下長出橙色的小花。

Sunt is here!!!

2009-04-18T22:45:00.003+08:00

My Sunt is here. Still cuter than me and we are like never apart...

happy happy day. :) Feel like I am beloved by everyone (even just by listen to any of your name).

Ah I miss you and love you so!

俳句の練習

2009-04-17T19:38:00.002+08:00

Today we learn how to write specific type of Japanese Poem, I did a bad job I think. But see what my frens did. It's really interesting. :) I will direct translate it, don't expect it to be too good. Because it's difficult to.

No. 1 Willis

顔しろい
いつもうるさい
ムーさんだ

(Face is white
always noisy
It's Moo
白白的臉
一直都很吵
就是穆)

No. 2 Yugi

君いつも
あたまに走る
疲れたか

(You have been
running in my head
are you tired?
你一直
在我的腦裏跑呀跑
累嗎？)

No. 3 Fera (Fera one is really good!)

雨が降って
心もぬれて
虹がどこ

(It's raining
it's wet in my heart too
where is the rainbow
下雨了
我的心裏也溼溼的
彩虹在哪裏呢？)

Finally, mine!

蜂蜜や
甘過ぎうんざり
君の口

(Honey,
too sweet I am sick of it
like your mouth
蜜糖
甜得發膩
就像你的嘴)

2009-04-17T16:05:00.005+08:00

然後我想我要怎樣像以前那樣和你説話

結果我想還是可以的

因爲一旦你說了

他就不存在了

而且你不在乎的樣子呵

所以

If you forgot my birthday again this year I will kill you.

I want more love more love more more LOVE! :)

/HUGZ

(msg above apply to everyone I love!)

びっくりしたこと

2009-04-17T15:37:00.003+08:00

My life is... happening.

我以爲沒有任何事會讓我更吃驚。
然後你告訴了我。

我多麽的混亂。
爲什麽。
啊。

爲什麽現在的我在懊悔?
爲什麽現在的我會哭泣?
爲什麽我從來沒有想過?
爲什麽就那樣擦身而過?

混亂中。

2009-04-14T21:40:00.001+08:00

我要做優雅的女生。
優雅地生活。
優雅地戀愛。

：）。

2009-04-07T02:05:00.002+08:00

在YouTube看到很有意思的廣告：

春天

2009-04-06T23:26:00.000+08:00

香水換上春天的味道。
櫻花花瓣在風中飄舞。
陽光灑在我面前的路。

我在想你。
如果你知道我是這樣說話。
你還會不會這樣？

April Fool?

2009-04-02T01:29:00.001+08:00

You ought to be careful.
Because it might not be true.

Apocalypse

2009-03-30T22:35:00.001+08:00

Lose it all?

You earned it.

Boy will always be boy

2009-03-29T16:13:00.006+08:00

家裏有個大小孩逼者我看Gundam。

看者一堆東西飛來飛去的，不停震動的畫面不知道有什麽好看。除了很好聽的片尾曲我什麽也看不出來。只是呵，27嵗的男人還會爲了宇宙的和平，機器人而興奮。一整個禮拜的等待就為了那短短的20分鐘。20分鐘的故事可以逼我聼上一百年的事。

男生永遠都是男孩呵。

Review: The Fall

2009-03-29T14:13:00.009+08:00

Directed by Tarsem Singh. The Fall has a really beautiful Japanese name: 落下の王国. The kingdom of falling. A story start from fall, the fantasy in the Kingdom of falling... Oh, how beautiful is that? Just like the movie. So beautiful that it's worth just enjoy the visual pleasure and leave your brain blank for 2 hrs.

The story line is simple but interesting. I love how the little gal interrupted and how the reality and story blur out in the end. The movie is more like the director self indulgence of his fantasy story telling. And I love fantasy. It's the thing that make my life sweeter. The little girl is naive and I love her accent. I love this movie. It calms me, it makes me happy. It reminds me how beatiful the world is. C'est magnificent!

It's dreamy, it's beautiful, it's romantic. It has everything that I love. I love pretty thing. Yes, did I keep saying it's beautiful? Because it is so!

真實

2009-03-28T17:32:00.003+08:00

什麽是真實的？

一個人的回憶。後來我想，當只有我一個人這樣去理解發生過的事。這樣的回憶也只有我擁有而已。這還是真實的嗎？它存在過嗎？我的存在對你有任何意義嗎？

我有很多的答案。卻沒有任何的疑問。我怎麽就這樣捲入了事件的中心？如果我是中心，爲什麽我發覺自己一點都不重要？

Trust you

2009-03-26T14:43:00.005+08:00

愛。應該是這樣的。

Trust you (Gundam 片尾曲)

歌手：伊藤由奈
作詞： MARKIE
作曲： MARKIE

花は風に揺れ踊るように
雨は大地を潤すように
この世界は寄り添いあい　生きてるのに
なぜ人は傷つけ合うの
なぜ別れは訪れるの

君が遠くに行ってもまだ
いつもこの心の真ん中
あの優しい笑顔でうめつくされたまま
たきしめた君のカケラに
痛み感じてもまだ　繫がるから
信じてるよ　また会えると
I'm waiting for your love

I love you
I trust you
君の孤独を分けてほしい
I love you
I trust you
光でも闇でも
二人だから信じ合えるの
離さないで

世界の果てを誰が見たの
旅の終わりを誰が告げるの
今は答えが見えなくて　永い夜でも
信じた道を進んでほしい
その先に光が待つから

君が教えてくれた唄は
今もこの心の真ん中
あの優しい声と共に響いている
溢れる気持ちのしずくが
あたたかく頬つたう
強くなるね
信じてるよ
繫がってると
I'm always by your side

I love you
I trust you
君のために流す涙が
I love you
I trust you
愛を教えてくれた
どんなに君が道に迷っても
そばにいるよ

I love you
I trust you
君の孤独を分けてほしい
I love you
I trust you
光でも闇でも
I love you
I trust you
悲しみでも歓びでも
I love you
I trust you
君の全てを守りたい

どんなに君が道に迷っても
そばにいるよ
二人だから信じ合えるの
離さないで

2009-03-23T18:11:00.000+08:00

It's broken and it can't be fixed.

2009-03-13T19:38:00.002+08:00

自以為和你很親密就不停叫你笨蛋的人真討厭。

你才是自以為是的笨蛋。

2009-03-13T15:56:00.002+08:00

在姐姐的msn nick里看到的有趣的一句話：

我知道那是一个秘密，因为它到处流传

倒黴的一天

2009-03-12T13:57:00.004+08:00

原來真有這樣的一天。

早上出門的時候，選擇的路綫都堵車，這還好。

到了日本大使館，排了隊，領了號，Officer小姐說：“你看這裏寫者下午才可以領的。”。我懇求了一會，她還是給我了。我心裏想：“我好幸運啊。”

然後到Pavilion買東西，想用Parkson Elite Card裏的point來付部分款。結果一些技術錯誤不能用，Customer service經理不停和我道歉，說2至7天裏就可以用了。承諾一定會電話通知我。但儅我下樓付款后他馬上給我打電話說可以用了。

然後我就感覺非常不良好地一路堵回家。到目前爲止，還好。

飛機是10：25。

所以和Yiin約好8點到我家接我。Yiin早到了。非常的好。

結果走錯路，遲了預定時間40分鐘到。但沒問題，還是可以check in的我想。

去SQ櫃檯說（基本上已經関了），我的飛機是10：25分的，但是更本沒有這個航班。

我又沒有把E-ticket print出來根本無從查起。然後他們把我打發到MAS的櫃檯說應該是CodeShare的flight。然後還是一樣沒有資料。我就這樣兩邊跑還不停地發脾氣。現在想起真的很paiseh，因爲又不是他們的錯，尤其馬航的人最無辜。在KL的馬航的櫃檯其實是很好的。北京的就不敢領教。

後來我終于和伍大爺聯絡上了，知道了自己的flight number。“It's SQ107, you must get me on the flight your system is freaking stupid... ...”然後地勤小姐說：“SQ107? it's a morning flight...”然後我才發現omg!我錯把早上10.25當成是晚上22.25... ...

後來Yiin回來接我說“你每天飛怎麽犯這樣的錯誤”。Halo, come on。我的connecting flight是淩晨1.10分。Itinerary上面寫者10.25，1.10很容易就自覺認爲是晚上10點吧，誰會想到要在新加坡等上14小時？？這是什麽爛系統。雖然說這是用Krisflyer miles換的，也是要錢的。不要給人方便就不要給我miles。這樣我也不必每天到新加坡轉機。最倒黴的是這次miss掉的是Business Class! 而且，如果我們沒有迷路的話，我還是可以趕上9.45飛新加坡的飛機... ...

Anyway, 如果用英文會寫得較好吧。但是它讓我想起了小學作文倒黴的一天。所以還是用中文寫啦。認爲我已回日本去了的各位，不好意思。我還在馬來西亞啦。不過還是謝謝你的祝福。

This is not a winning number

2009-03-08T22:29:00.003+08:00

My very first time, but the outcome is as usual - no luck. When will I win a lottery? I want money money money!

Life Value

2009-03-07T21:37:00.004+08:00

Finally I made my mind that I just want to concentrate on one thing. And I dun want to be too harsh to myself. I will just have fun with myself and my frens. And I just want to finish my studies and then concentrate on my career. I dun want a relationship right now. And I dun even want to think bout the possibility of it.

When it means to happen, it happen. When he is the right person, he is. My heart will tell me, and why should I make a judgement so rush in such a short time while I am not even feeling comfortable to get back into it?

And then someone I really care said: "You have the wrong value/ no value of life.". Who is him to judge just because we have the different value, and how can he said that when he suppose to be really supportive and understanding. And all I want to do now is just to be your dear friend.

Who said I have to be with someone when I am not sure he is the right one.

And who is him to say who is the right person for me and what kind of life I should be leading.

And you can't said I made bad choice or I have no value of life just because I didn't choose you.

And who are you to said who and how should I commit.

And seriously, who is responsible for all these? Think about it.

American Next Top Model

2009-03-06T16:43:00.005+08:00

After watching 4 circles in a roll.

I hate this show, it inculcate wrong value to the young gals.

Abviously, from the show bitchy = personality. Jealousy, and the desire (which you can do anythng really disgraceful) is good. hypocritically pick some fat gal or Asian to appear on the show is compassion. Prejudice is right as long as they are famous and celebrities. Gracefulness is a piece of shit.

While they claim difference is good being different is what we are looking for, but the truth is they are repel the real difference. And one thing they certainly told us is: "Model is definately Stupid". At least from the show it is.

干物女

2009-03-06T14:10:00.007+08:00

雖然說我目前在日本生活，但是還是要從中文質訊去了解日本很遜。而且，我們對實際日本的了解還是很扭曲的。尤其用中文翻譯日文文章時候更無法表達那種張力。不管怎樣，今天讀到一篇比較有趣的文章，以下是摘自《南洋副刊》的一篇文章：

《干物女不修邊幅》
干物女指的是一群對戀愛提不起勁，認爲很多事情都很麻煩而湊合者過的20多嵗女性。這個名詞源自日語對魚乾的稱呼。

干物女一詞來自漫畫〈小營的青春〉（又稱〈營之光〉），是對女主角“雨宮營”的單身生活習慣（包括工餘在家，喜歡獨自看漫畫，飲啤酒；假日好睡，幸福寫意）的形容詞，但是雨宮營並非完全無意戀愛，只覺麻煩。

詞語後來被引用來泛指一群在私人空間享受個人生活的20多嵗女性，她們對戀愛感到陌生，但並不拒絕。只是他們慣於隨便懶散的生活，對戀愛提不起勁。對不少男性而言，干物女不修邊幅，又不擅社交，所以缺乏吸引力。

干物女的特徵：
1. 隨便站在廚房吃東西 (O - come on, 誰不是這樣？)
2. 最近只有爬樓梯會讓自己心跳 (O)
3. 出門以後發現忘了東西，會穿者鞋用膝蓋觸地行走來取東西（因爲脫鞋麻煩，可是又不能弄髒地板） (O - 基本上我是連鞋都不脫的)
4. 假日不化妝也不帶胸罩 (O - 只要不是日本人應該都是這樣？)
5. 一晃半年沒上美容院 (x - 頭髮可以不剪，但指甲不可以不修！〉.〈)
6. 只有夏天除毛 (O - 除非有人看。)
7. 一個人也敢上居酒屋等 (x - 去餐廳還可以居酒屋就很困難，太難爲情了)

7項特點裏有5項就已經是不折不扣的干物女，如果有3項就是干物女的預備軍了。

自我審視一下我還真是個干物女。打扮每天花枝招展的真得很麻煩。大家都知道我是個很怕麻煩的人，只要可以避免麻煩我是願意付出很大代價的。哈哈。以前我以爲我自閉，原來還好。難怪我這麽沒有魅力。

Valentine's day

2009-03-05T18:46:00.003+08:00

Everyone are talking about their Valentine's day on their blog. And surprisingly I have got nothing on my Valentine's day this year. Yes, there is no celebration, no fancy dinner, no roses, no present, no romantic candles or anything like that. (Even Yiin has got her celebration on time this year!)

(Fatty and Senhao, how can you let me feel so miserable on my Valentine's day!)

But, on the other hand, I got some presents for leaving Japan + Valentines from my classmates. They are really sweet aren't they? I have got chocolates, roses, party, and a Video specially made for me. I wanted to upload here but it's still a bit difficult at the moment with this internet connection here.

Anyway, some people might think it's just another commercial event for ppl to make money. and sometime I am too lazy to dress up and prepare for event like this and rather stay at home do nothing. But I think this is all the little things that make our life special and fun. Ofcoz, you may celebrate your life like it's the last day everyday, but event like this definately let ppl who are not that creative (maybe) got to spice up thier normal life a little by a small celebration.

So I think it's important to remember every big or small anniversary or event and celebrate it. And especially when you get old and your energy are fading away, this will definately help you. Haha. Some people might think, oh she is high main! Yea I think I am :P. But be creative, sometime it doesn't mean you have to spend a fortune to celebrate it. It can be simple and just another day to be relax and have fun with your love one.

:D

2009-03-02T22:50:00.005+08:00

Meeting up with Chinny and everyone was wonderful.

Thank you guys for the amazing weekend.

Now I am feeling a little more connected to the reality and here.

And thanks to those who have constantly follow up my blog and show concerns.

It does, really, make me feel better. :)

I am very happy and proud for the right decisions that I think I am making now.

I think I show maturity and courage.

Anyway, it's good progress, and yea.

I do still remember the bikini promise gals.

I will definately lose some weight this year. :P

Luckily I still have 3 months to go.

Keep my fingers cross and guys, Yiin will join me on my birthday.

Looking forward for her bikini photo yea. :P

Too Free

2009-02-26T15:32:00.005+08:00

3 o'clock in the afternoon.

Maid is sleeping.

Roman is sleeping.

HanHan is sleeping.

Cheese is sleeping.

AHua is sleeping. (AHua is a rat who happened to run into my sis apartment and now she is my sister new pet. Yea, I took really bad photo.)

I am the only one awake.

Defragment

2009-02-26T10:13:00.003+08:00

一夜無眠
感覺回到了記憶中某個很幸福的時期
溫柔地
我好久沒有這麽的平靜了

我想我真的好了
感覺好快樂。

決心

2009-02-09T13:01:00.001+08:00

是怎樣的愛，會讓你把我的名刻在你身上？

節分

2009-02-03T20:49:00.005+08:00

鬼は外、福は内！今天是節分明天就立春了。是日本驅鬼迎福的日子。今天上課的半途中老師扮鬼沖進課室里嚇我們，很有趣。不過真的被嚇壞了！

節分時日本人會把黃豆丟出窗外，然后吃進肚里。說“鬼在外，福在內”。節分時還要吃下一個惠方卷和大福。吃惠方卷的時候要面對惠方而且要一言不發，因為張開嘴巴的話福氣會跑掉。惠方是一個方向每年更換，今年是東北東。

結果今天的我吃了一大個惠方卷，一直站著不能說話還蠻累的。哈哈。不過很有趣。：）還吃了個大福。黃豆也吃了不少。不好意思啦，我很kiasu的。

Old Pictures

2009-02-03T19:37:00.002+08:00

My classmate wants to know how I look like when I was 20. So I look throught all the pictures I have left (since my hdd condamn, basically I only have some from Yiin and thanks to Ming Hong the Sdyney trip photoes), and I found this on Ming Hong's camera.

What can I say, I really miss Melbourne life alot. But I wasn't really happy that time I think, and I think I have been making the same mistake no matter how old I am... and I me myself cause all the uncomfortable feeling... I wasn't really confident and know myself very well that time...

Anyway, the memory is still sweet, and you will always in my heart. :)

2009-02-03T14:25:00.003+08:00

我想我忘了很重要的東西。

昨晚學偉對我說：“你只是還沒有變大人了的覺悟。”

學偉總是包容我所有的軟弱。總是可以把我惡劣的部分美化。

為什么聽起來總是那么冷靜有智慧有內涵的他，會犯下那些所有的愚蠢的，莫須有的錯誤呢？

我需要尋找答案。

2009-02-02T09:31:00.001+08:00

"... Lost in oblivion.
Dark and silent and complete.
I found freedom.
Losing all hope is freedom."

~ Edward Norton • Fight club

萬夫所指

2009-02-02T00:33:00.001+08:00

相信愛情是建立在相互安慰和未來金錢之類的人比較膚淺還是認為愛情裡最重要的東西是信任的人比較膚淺？

為甚麼只要和你衝突了，捍衛自己的原則、相信自己的信仰就變成錯誤的事。

是不是越慘的人就會得到越多支持？我的愛情只是我的事情，為什麼要向任何人交代。

還有，不要給我我不想要的東西的同時要求獎勵。

Happo Ski Trip

2009-01-30T13:25:00.003+08:00

Second ski trip this year and I had decided to buy myself a pair of short ski gear... I love short ski! >.< Lately discussed with Yiin that it's funner to take video, because able to capture the sound then the atmosphere...

Oh vain. But I look surprisingly cute during the trip, see:

Forgive me, I am getting old so feel very insecure... haha. If anyone remind me my age I will kill him/her.

Mess

2009-01-19T18:43:00.003+08:00

I read through my blog just now. It's a mess, haha. I sometime wrote French and thought it's English, mixed Japanese with English and my English is getting so bad. And Chinese sentence structure and grammar is a mess!

Nowaday, I sometime speak Chinese to English Speaker, and then English to Chinese Speaker. And since I am learning Japanese, I normally speak a sentense with 3 languages mixed together! It's so lack of Charisma! 太沒氣質了。

どうしょう？>.<

Adult store

2009-01-19T15:52:00.002+08:00

Today after lunch, me and my classmates walk pass this adult store. This gal really want to have a look so we went in. 4 gals and 1 guy. They have alot of pictures and toys as you can imagine. Then I asked this gal who never date before: "Had you ever hold a guy's hand?" "No." she answered. "Then this is too advanced for you." I said.

There have some really interesting toys. But I think more or less the same thing. And most of them are made in Japan. Think quality must be good. I was so embarrased. And we were like discussed this gal breast is too big or what. I saw a picture of a gal with cup P. How ugly is that! Must be implanted. And imagine how she walk, she must have to carry her breast with both hand when she walk. If not I believe her breast will drop on floor man.

And some of them are so big they actually look like papaya - this remind me all the joke Simon told us during Uni. Do guys really breast this big? They are not pretty at all!

And what I found most shocking is SyaShin book of teenage gal. I dun think they are even teenage, just child. So hentai! I thought it's illegal to possess child sexual insinuate pictures?

Roti bakar

2009-01-18T13:21:00.003+08:00

Japanese stove always come with this small oven to grill fish (with fire, not heat). So sometime I use it to bake bread.

Just now I feel like eating roti bakar, so I put a bread into it to bake but I forgot to set the fire. Then... My bread caught on fire!!!

I never see a bread caught on fire in my whole life before, the worst is it's burnt right? Not actually burning with fire. Haha, now the bread turn into charcoal. Really a 'roti bakar'. Cho Baka.

Looking good.

2009-01-17T22:46:00.005+08:00

Ah sorry for being so... pessimistic and blue for the last few articles.

I am doing good and feeling easy now.

2009 is looking good for me, for a few reasons:

Feeling my body is very active and I am very familiar with it now. In Japanese we say "上手になった" means getting keen at something. Maybe sound really stupid, I never feel I can use my body as good as I am feeling now.

I truely think Kiyomizudera is very 靈驗 (wow, can anyoen tell me how to say that in English?), and I got a good 簽 there. Not only that, the very last few 簽s I got are all good. So I guess thing will definately get better.

I have really positive feeling and I can feel the positive energy around me. Haha.

Happy 2009. :)